We ask a lot of our young athletes.

We ask them to be coachable. To control their emotions. To handle adversity. To take responsibility. To keep growing.

Those are good things to ask. But here's the question I want to put in front of every sports parent, including myself: Are we willing to do the same?

That question is the heart of a new series I'm starting called The Parent Work. The premise is simple:

If we want our young athletes to grow, we have to be willing to examine how we are growing alongside them.

This Is Not About Judging Parents

Let me be clear from the start. This series is not about pointing fingers or making anyone feel like a bad parent.

Most of the behaviors that get in the way of a young athlete's development start in a good place. They come from love. From fear. From wanting to protect our kids. From ambition for them. From good intentions.

That's exactly why they're so hard to see.

When you step in to fix a problem with a coach, it feels like support. When you break down every play on the drive home, it feels like help. When you tell your kid they deserve more playing time, it feels like belief. When you panic about them falling behind, it feels like responsibility.

Every one of those reactions makes sense. And every one of them can cost our kids something when it goes unexamined.

So the goal of this series is clarity, not shame. I'm going to follow one rule the whole way through:

Never shame the parent. Confront the behavior.

The message is this: This behavior makes sense. It usually comes from love or fear. And we need to be honest about what happens when we keep repeating it.

What We'll Cover

Over the coming weeks, each post will focus on one piece of the work. Here's where we're headed:

1. "I Can't Help It" Isn't Good Enough – Self-regulation (published)
2. The Fear of Falling Behind May Be What's Holding Your Kid Back – Managing parental anxiety (published)
3. Your Kid's Disappointment Is Not an Emergency – Tolerating your child's discomfort
4. Stop Making Their Sport About You – Separating your identity from theirs
5. Your Kid Doesn't Need You to Believe Everything They Tell You – Curiosity instead of automatic validation
6. Stop Coaching From the Car – Knowing your role
7. Maybe the Coach Isn't the Problem – Resisting blame
8. Stop Fighting Battles Your Kid Is Ready to Fight – Letting go of control
9. Your Athlete Doesn't Need to Be Happy All the Time – Redefining a successful experience
10. Stop Telling Your Kid They Deserve More – Entitlement versus agency
11. Your Fear Is Talking—and Your Kid Is Listening – Recognizing projection
12. They Need a Parent More Than They Need Another Performance Expert – Protecting the relationship

And we'll close with one final piece: If You Want Them to Reach Their Potential, Reach for Yours.

Some of these titles might sting a little. That's okay. If one of them hits close to home, that's usually a sign it's worth reading.

Not Perfection. Development.

None of us will get this right all the time. I won't either. That's not the point.

We don't expect our athletes to be perfect. We expect them to keep learning, keep adjusting, and keep getting better. The same standard applies to us.

• We ask athletes to be coachable. Are we?
• We ask them to regulate themselves. Can we?
• We ask them to handle adversity. Can we tolerate watching them experience it?
• We ask them to take responsibility. Are we willing to examine our contribution?
• We ask them to grow. Are we still growing?

Your athlete is developing. So are you.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

My hope is that these posts create a moment of recognition: I have work to do.

But recognition alone isn't enough. This kind of work is easier, and more honest, when you're surrounded by other parents who are doing it too. That's why alongside this series, I'm building a parent community: a place where you don't have to do this work by yourself.

Want to be part of this parent community? Join the waitlist and we will notify you with details!

For now, here's your first step. Read through the list above and notice which title made you pause. Don't fix anything yet. Just notice.

Your athlete is developing. So are you. Do the work.

Growing alongside you,

Shaun

PS: Which title on the list hit closest to home for you?