One evening I got a call from a young athlete that had tried out for a specific team, and he was struggling to understand why he did not make the team. With great frustration and anger, he detailed for me all the work he did and how angry he was that the work did not seem to make a difference. As is often the case, I dug a bit deeper to understand what was truly fueling his intensity. He went on to describe how many of his friends would be on the team and how sad he was to miss out on those experiences. I replied; “Is there anything else that is hard for you?” He then said; “I know my dad is really disappointed in me. He told me that I needed to work harder to keep improving rather than play video games.”
I have had this type of conversation too many times to count.
Tryouts bring with them fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, joy, relief, and uncertainty.
This blog is not designed to be about the fairness, or lack of it in youth sports, although there might be...
CULTURES OF CARE = WINNING EXPERIENCES
Over the years I have been paying attention! I realize that this statement is quite vague on the surface. One could easily ask, “What have you been paying attention to?” The answer is what provides the clarity and understanding.
What I have learned over 30 years of working in the personal development field is this: what we “pay attention” to is what determines how we think, act, and live. If we have trained ourselves to notice what is lacking, wrong, insufficient, frustrating, or problematic then we are focused on all the information that supports these principles.
I want to suggest that the danger in our focus is not simply WHAT we are focusing on. Maybe the bigger danger is what we are NOT focusing on.
Let me explain. For the better part of 18 years, I have dedicated myself to learn and pass on the most advanced science on what unleashes HIGH PERFORMANCE for athletes, individuals, business professionals, and others...
There isn’t a day in my coaching practice where a question about confidence doesn’t come up.
Confidence is often seen as the CORE DEFICIT when performance is sub par.
I have never heard an athlete say, “Shaun, I am playing really poorly but my confidence is in tact.”
This leads me to think that many understand confidence to be only present when one is playing well and absent when performance is sub par. Therefore, when performance drops confidence drops with it.
Confidence must be understood differently for it to be of great value.
So, what is a better way to think of confidence?
Watch my Building Unshakable Confidence Coaching Video for greater understanding!
To begin I offer this definition of confidence:
Confidence is the belief that one generates concerning their ability to be successful in their arena of performance.
I want to emphasis that for confidence to be present it must be generated from within the individual. Nobody, no matter how well meaning,...
“The trauma that results when coaches over step the boundaries of human decency and respect.”
We have become INCREASINGLY aware and sensitive to the dangers of concussions over the last couple of years. Professional sports is implementing increased protocols in an effort to protect their players as they should. Traumatic brain injuries, as many know, debilitate the functioning of the brain and therefore ends up forever affecting the quality of life for the one affected as well as those around them. We all know that prevention is the key.
There are certainly no shortage of concussions in youth sports. I am glad that greater awareness is paving the way for preventing and protecting more youth sport athletes.
However, there are “BRAIN INJURIES” that our young athletes are encountering with little to no intervention or treatment. These injuries often come in the form of coach/athlete interactions. Often through simple observation you can attend any youth sporting...
We ask ourselves questions all the time. Most of these questions start with the word WHAT.
“What should I wear today?”
“What should I say when asked a question?”
“What should I eat?”
We also ask ourselves, “WHAT IF?”
This often leads us to a series of memories that plant us right in the past regretting something we did leading to feelings of inadequacy or shame. I find that the questions that we ask ourselves inevitably shape our perception, perspective and framework for experiencing life.
Questions aim our thinking, awareness and focus.
This morning, while doing my daily journaling, I decided to RIFT off of the the question “WHAT IF?” However, the substance of my “what if” was much different.
Here are some examples:
What if my fears are unfounded?
What if 10 seconds of courage in a relationship could transform it forever?
What if my beliefs about myself are mistaken?
What if my assumptions are unfounded?
Many people I care about and love are in the midst of significant life challenges! You might be one of those in the midst of a significant challenge. These challenges could be best described as “being in a war.” The challenge never seems to let up. No matter which way you turn, there it is seemingly waiting to torment and therefore, torture you. It is said that when we face challenges of this intensity we come face to face with our true self.
I have to be honest and admit that the intensity of some of the challenges I am seeing go beyond a “problem to be solved.” Truthfully, a problem would be far preferred than a challenge. Problems can often be solved through advanced thinking, surrender and increased support. Challenges seem to dig at our humanity, value system, spirituality, and in some cases, our very existence. They force us to quickly assess our emotional, social, spiritual, and at times, financial resources.
How are we to respond when faced with a...
Who of us would not want a deep, bold and stable confidence?
Unfortunately, to many people the thought of possessing this type of confidence left long ago. It could be that a significant relationship with a coach, teacher, parent or friend sabotaged that dream. As a result we often tolerate, make excuses and position our lives to insure that we protect ourselves from a sense of failure or discouragement in order to never deal with our utter and complete lack of confidence.
For these reasons this is the day I invite you to engage in the CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE!
Simply stated I want to challenge you to PURSUE a more powerful and sustainable confidence.
For over 18 years I have been coaching thousands of athletes and without question when I ask, “What is the one thing you want to work on?” the response 90 percent of the time is “More CONFIDENCE!”
WHY ARE SO MANY OF US LACKING CONFIDENCE?
Because so many of us are TRADING COMFORT for CONFIDENCE.
It seems that...