Story Awareness: How the Story You Tell Yourself Shapes Your Performance (and Your Experience)
Feb 06, 2026
One of the most important mental skills athletes can develop has nothing to do with talent, ice time, or results. It has everything to do with the story they tell themselves about what happens to them.
There is a concept we teach called Story Awareness — the ability to notice how we interpret events and how those interpretations shape our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
This skill matters just as much for parents as it does for athletes.
Every Experience Starts With an Event — But It Doesn’t End There
Every athlete experiences setbacks:
- A mistake in a game
- Not scoring
- Limited ice time
- A tough practice
- Critical feedback
- “I messed up.”
- “Coach doesn’t trust me.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- Thoughts
- Emotions
- Confidence (or lack of it)
- Behavior and effort
Is Our Suffering Caused by Our Environment — or Our Perspective?
This is the key question we ask athletes to reflect on:
Is our suffering really caused by our environment, or by how we choose to view our environment?
While we don’t control every outcome in sport or life, we do control how we view those outcomes. And that choice matters.When athletes attach unproductive meanings to events they aren’t even 100% sure are true, they unintentionally create their own suffering.
For example:
- Not scoring does not mean you’re incapable — unless you believe it does.
- A mistake does not define you — unless you decide it does.
Thoughts → Feelings → Actions
Re-Teaching Perception: Where the Power Lives
A core message we emphasize is this:
Athletes have control over how they choose to view the events happening to them.
This doesn’t mean pretending everything is positive or ignoring challenges. It means recognizing that:
- Meaning is a choice
- Stories can be challenged
- Perspective can be trained
Reducing suffering doesn’t require changing the situation — it often starts by changing the lens.
A Message for Parents
Athletes are constantly learning how to interpret their world — and parents play a powerful role in shaping that process.
When we:
- Help athletes separate facts from assumptions
- Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions
- Encourage reflection over reaction
Final Thought
Story Awareness isn’t about eliminating adversity. It’s about owning how we respond to it.
When athletes learn to challenge their stories, they learn something far more valuable than how to handle one bad game — they learn how to handle life. And that skill lasts well beyond the rink.
— Kelsey King