Managing the “Why Me?” Mentality: How Athletes Can Protect Their Power Mid-Season

Mid-season is one of the hardest phases for athletes and parents alike. The excitement of opening weekend has faded, roles become clearer (and sometimes smaller than hoped), and playing time doesn’t always match the work that was put in.

This is the time of year when frustration creeps in. Doubt shows up. And the quiet (or not-so-quiet) question begins to circulate:

“Why me?”

As a coach, I see this moment as a turning point—not a dead end. What often feels like a roadblock is actually the exact place where growth, clarity, and confidence can happen... if the athlete is willing to take their power back.

You Are Not Powerless—Even if It Feels Like You Are

When athletes believe they’re getting “screwed,” they unintentionally step into a powerless mindset.

The illusion is this:
“If I’m not getting what I want, it must be because someone else is taking it from me.”

But here’s the truth:
Believing you have no power is the fastest way to actually lose it.

The goal of this work is simple:
Help athletes realize they have more control, choice, and influence than they think.

Investigate — What is really going on

When I take an athlete through the investigation process, the purpose is simple: to help them see the full picture—not just the emotional one. We start by identifying their biggest current challenge and then break it apart through the lens of control. Almost every athlete dealing with frustration is unintentionally pouring energy into what they can’t change—coaching decisions, line combinations, playing time, or comparisons to teammates. I help them see how this mindset can actually diminish their own play by tightening them up, distracting them, or making them reactive instead of confident.

From there, I guide them to look at the situation through a different lens: What part of the outcome might be influenced by their own habits, communication, consistency, preparation, or actions? This is not about blame. It’s about empowerment. It’s about helping them identify one action—just one—that they can take responsibility for and move on.

Finally, we explore the possibility that this challenge could actually be shaping skills they’ll need later—resilience, maturity, handling pressure, perseverance. Nearly every athlete has faced adversity before and come out stronger, and recognizing that pattern helps them see this moment not as a dead end, but as part of their development.

Teach — LEVAR THINKING

This is the framework I teach athletes to help them move from stuck → empowered.

What role does adversity play in our life?

Adversity is not the enemy. It is the lever.

So, what does a lever do?

A lever helps us move something heavy. Something we can’t lift alone. Adversity is that “heavy thing.”
Levar Thinking helps you use it to move forward.

The 3 Steps of LEVAR THINKING

1. Name It

Talk it out. Identify what’s actually bothering you. This is the beginning of movement.

2. Accept It
Remove the resentment and “WHY ME?” thinking. Anchor yourself to controllables.

3. Take Action

Use your skills, habits, preparation, and effort to move forward. This is where your power lives.

Apply It - This is where mindset becomes behavior.

1. Practices Become Games

Treat every rep like an opportunity to earn trust. Coaches notice consistency, competitiveness, and reliability long before they notice flash.

2. Stay Out of the Non-Controllables

The fastest way to lose your power is to focus on coaches, teammates, or decisions you can’t influence. The fastest way to gain it back is by owning your attitude, effort, habits, and readiness.

A Message to Athletes and Parents

The mid-season slump is real. So is mid-season growth.

The athletes who come out stronger are the ones who choose to protect their power—not give it away.

One thing my coach could never take from me was my attitude and effort.

That was my lever.

And it can be yours too.

Kelsey King
The Mental Edge Inc.